purpose of life

what is the purpose of life?? for some its earning money for someone its respect..and yet for someone its winning..it could be getting a good job ,learning,fighting and oh so on...but what is the purpose of my life??

sometimes i feel the thing i concentrate most is impressing others..i very much like to impress people..in life i want to make as many fans of mine as possible..yet sometimes when i think seriously i feel my purpose is to make as many beautiful relations as possible..but i feel maintaining relation is tougher than rocket science..i like to keep people around me happy..but what we all forget is we have to be happy first in order to make others happy..i so much wish i could always remain happy and not let minor things like studies ,future, or fights bother me..because my aim in life is not to score good marks but to make ppl around me like me,want me..i have to stop thinking about myself to achieve that..

i think the best thing in life is when you start realising your dreams..i have made many many wonderful relations in life..for instance i have as usuasl a loving set of parents..my mom's family is a world of love for me..my mom's sisters more like my own friends at times.they have really pampered me a lot..i still feel like a child around them yet they do make me realise i am no more a child..and i have one gang of lovely cousins..full of laughter and fun..swathi is my special gift from god..i love her so much..she is just 6yrs old but i feel she is my best friend..everytime i meet her i can seee so much of love in her eyes i feel so wonderfull..its not that others don love me as much..but they don expresss as much..in this difficult phase of life when i am almost an adult n struggling to understand life i need someone like her who can give me unconditional love..when she tries to wake me up when am asleep i get so angry..later i realise she was only missing me probably..and she is soooo cuddly..i can hug and kiss her whole day and she wont stop asking for more..dheemant is my other cousin.he too is cute very sweet at heart.but he cant express love.but i have noticed he loves attention..he needs a lot of care.still a 5yr old child at heart ..and rohit is one bunch of naughtiness..i just love his innocent eyes and the way he speaks..he such a simple boy at heart.of al of us i think this fellow is the one who will stay the happiest in life..i love my grandparents too..they r so lovely..its all because of them that everyone loves our family and no1 can get a reason to point a finger at us..it amazing how none of us have taken the wrong path..

like these i have made many such relations..i love my friends too..but you know what i love my enemies too.(though i love to hate them more!!)..its our enemies who keep us grounded..its because of my enemies that i try and be good in life..because i dont want anyone to say i am worser than my enemies..someday when i become famous or if not maybe at my death bed i want all of these people near me..even my enemies..i need to tell them thanks so much for making me what i am..i am not perfect.i mean who wants to be perfect anyways..but i love the way i am..i need even more love and i want to give even more love..i promise i wont be selfish and remind myself that purpose of life is making relations..its loving and being loved..it understanding and giving...please give me a place in your life for me in every life..i want to be born again and again as human and want to experience this love and relations all over again..coz the purpose of my life is relation and i know even if i take 100 more lives we cant ever achieve perfect relations..but i dont wanna stop tryiong...

inspite of all these i still do feel so lonely at times..i need that one person with whom i can share everything..i can share lot of things with my friends or parents..but i cant share everything..i want to make that wonderful friend who is as forgiving as mom,as supportive as dad,who can give that unconditional love as swathi..who can sit and speak nonsense with me whole day like rohit..who can be as sweet as dheemanth..who will love me like my aunts and dream n pray for me that i do well in life like my grandparents..also someone who wil listen to whatever bad i have to say about people i hate without judging me only bad as anvi..i need someone who can make me laugh throughout my life and smile looking at my smile..i have so many insecurities to share so many doubts..i need someone who wil patiently tell me where i am going wrong..who wont ever get bored of me..who will spk to me even if i am angry..because my anger wont last long if thing are sorted out as soon as posible..

probably this is the purpose of my life..to find that person..but will i find that person on earth..is it god whom i am seeking..or is it my own self i am seeking..coz we ourselves are our own best friend..is that person actually within me or is that god??or is god also within us..when i make such a perfect relation ill never ask anything from god..ill keep everyone around me happy and will preach love throughout my life...